Hillbilly Hand Scrub

FAMILY OF HILLBILLY PRODUCTS

Furst off n most important, r soaps r made right here in the USA, by Americans. We need the jobs here.
Sekund, yer gonna luv it er y'll get yer green back pronto.
Thurd, it's real concentrated. just a skirt'll do ya, n one jug 'll last ya a real long time, not like paw's jug a moonshine.
Forth, them Hillbilly conditioners 'll make yer dry hands sissy soft. Maw 'll like that.
Fith, we use walnut shell scrubbers insteda pumice er sand. Don't tear up yer hands er clog yer sink. Paw likes walnuts, so we needed sumthin' ta do wit all dim shells anyhow.
Sikths, taint no solvents. They aint good fer yer skin. R natural detergents werk better anyhow.
Aith, it's got that anti-bacterial agent "PCMX" in it. Don't no why we need a agent, don't even seem lik a police matter to us.
Yer gonna luv it...garonteed!